Why do they call it beef? and further thoughts from an insomniac


Recently I have been suffering from an awful bout of insomnia, and by bout I mean about 3 months of it.

My basic nightly routine goes like this:

  • Brush my teeth
  • Put on Pajamas
  • Lay in bed awake for approximately an hour before deciding to give up on sleep
  • Wander around my house aimlessly doing random meaningless activities till 4 am (sims anyone?)
  • Make my husband coffee and say goodbye before he goes to work
  • Possibly fall asleep at 5:00 -6:00 am
  • Sleep for 2 -3 hours
  • Wake up tired
  • Attempt to go back to sleep
  • Fail
  • Continue with the rest of my day as usual
  • Repeat…

The interesting part of sleep deprivation for me is I seem to come up with the most random thoughts.. See many people don’t have time to think of such things, but alas I am not so lucky. So here, for other people to see, are my thoughts and questions on maddeningly moot points.

  1. Why do they call Chicken Chicken, Turkey Turkey and Fish Fish but they don’t call Beef Cow or Pork Pig? I get it, calling Beef Cow would be weird now, but I don’t think it would be weird if it had always been called Cow… Seriously this has been boggling my mind for a while now. I MUST KNOW!
  2. On the topic of Cows. I have always been told that warm milk makes you sleepy. Well if that is the case then why are baby cows not always sleeping. The milk is warm when it comes from its mom.. so would that not make the calf sleepy?
  3. Also If you leave milk out it goes bad because it hasn’t been refrigerated, so wouldn’t it go bad inside the cow? It’s not like the milk in the cow is somehow refrigerated.
  4. Who decided that sheep were the animals to count? Why not Monkeys or Kittens. What makes sheep so great?
  5. Why does Donald Duck wear only a shirt normally, but when he gets out of the shower he puts a towel around his waist? Is he just free balling it the rest of the time? I saw this on “Friends” once and it was never answered. These are things I need to know! Don’t leave me hanging!
  6. Who decided that Red means stop and Green means go?
  7. Why is it in the show and book “Franklin” he is the only one with a name that isn’t the type of animal he is? Bear’s name is Bear, Rabbit’s name in Rabbit, and Beaver’s name is Beaver. Why couldn’t they just give everyone a name? What if there is more than one Bear do they then start going by numbers Bear 1, Bear 2 and so on and so forth?
  8. How do you know Humpty Dumpty is an egg? It never says he is an egg in the nursery rhyme
  9. Who decided Waldo was the person to find? Why not Kate or Larry?
  10.  Why is Wal-Mart called Wal-Mart? They definitely don’t sell walls…
  11. What did Yankee Doodle name Macaroni? Was it his hat or his feather?

These are only a few unanswered questions I ponder while a lay awake at night. I may never know the answers to these burning questions.  That is all for this time.

Thanks for reading!