unemployment

Everything happens for a reason and other balderdash people tell you after a lay off

As I have previously wrote, I was recently laid off. I was devastated the day it happen, balled my eyes out like a child who just got told their favorite toy was run over by a toilet truck. Cried all the way home with my stuff in bags on my lap in our car. Then I did what any adult who has experienced a rough time does… I drank.. a lot. After the booze infused evening of self despair and self pity, I realized something I wasn’t sad anymore I was angry..and then sad..and then angry again.. then happy followed by angry again and so on and so forth. That is until the Monday after my lay off when I woke up at noon absolutely freaking out about how late I was for work. It was about half way through frantically putting on my second sock before I realized… I don’t have to work today, or tomorrow, or for the foreseeable future for that matter. The funny thing about being laid off is that there are so many positive and negatives to it. You really don’t know how to process what has happened (or I didn’t). Navigating a lay off is pretty much a crapshoot so here is my list of the positives and negatives of being laid off.

Positives:

  •  You have a lot of free time, and I mean a lot, which means you can do everything you always wanted to do but never had the time;
  • You house ends up being very clean, the aforementioned free time means you can clean the entire house over and over and over again, given that’s your thing;
  • Your loved ones get a sickening amount of attention, some would say too much. For instance I tried being the best 1950’s house wife for a day, my husband not only didn’t appreciate it he said  to “stop that it’s freaking me out” geez, ungrateful  much!;
  • You can sleep in till whatever time you feel like, unless you have you know adult responsibilities like children, yoga class, unsolicited trips to the liquor store, stuff like that.

Negatives:

  • Inevitability you end up bored out of your mind;
  •  You come up with ridiculous things to do like trying to be a 1950’s house wife ( if you’re interested here is the link http://www.ultimatehousewife.com/2013/02/1950s-housewife.html)
  • You binge watch ALL the shows on Netflix;
  • You binge watch a bunch of Youtube videos, and end up in the dark part of Youtube because you’ve spent 6 hours watching people make tiny doll size food;
  • People ask how your doing with the look of pity in their eyes. “Hi, Grandma”..”Yes, I lost my job”…”no, I don’t think I am going to have to live in a box and work the street corner to pay for my instant Ramen”;
  • People call you about any and all job ads they see …”no I am not qualified to be a rocket scientist.. yes I am sure”. To anyone who knows someone who is laid off, unless they ask stop doing this, I KNOW you’re just trying to help but the truth is you’re just being an asshole.

The moral of the story is that being laid off SUCKS, but think of it this way now you have the opportunity to change. Don’t like your career path? Now is the time to find a new career. Want to go back to school? well then you get your butt back to the classroom. Want to become a raging alcoholic? I mean probably not the best plan, but you do you boo boo! As my mother used to say “everything happens for a reason” or some other inspirational poppycock people tell you when your feeling sorry for yourself.

Catch ya in the next post!

-Kris

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